I think I’ve blogged about this in the past, but I’m too lazy to g back and re-read my past posts…
The sign in my office reads “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” Under that, I put a piece of tape with the word “everything” written on it. At the Echo Conference a few weeks ago, a speaker had talked about passion and likening it to what drives you nuts. Not in a pet peeve sort of way, but more of what keeps you up at night? What do you think about all the time? That’s your passion. And then it hit me. It’s not that I have a hard time “picking”, my passion is just EVERYTHING! Well, not exactly everything. I don’t have a passion for money management! Perhaps money spending…!
My passion is seeing anything where I know that my involvement would/could make things “better”. It drives me nuts to see something knowing that I could help make it better. The issue there is what is “better” By whose standard are we judging this? If only I think it would be better, than is it best that I be involved?
I ran sound at church a couple of weeks ago. Russ was back. It sounded pretty good. I even kept the overall volume lower than my “standard”. Then, from the peanut gallery, the comment that it didn’t sound that good. I didn’t exactly take it personal except that sound can be personal, especially in that facility.
So then the next week, the person running sound did OK, but I felt I could do better. The mix was too low in volume. No effects on the vocals made them too dry. The sermon level was too high. And the same person came and told me it sounded great.
So, perhaps I think too highly of myself.
Obviously, I can’t actually do everything. So, at some point, I do have to pick. The problem with not picking is that I end up doing whatever gets my attention the loudest at that moment. And that’s not always the thing I should be doing.
So, for now, I do everything. The past few years have certainly been character discovery and building for me And it continues to be so. I make so many mistakes it’s not even funny. However, I also have many joys, even often springing from those mistakes. What a journey.
